knotion asked: hahaha you don't really utilize your tumblr, do you?

Not that one!  I don’t know how to switch to make my photo blog my main one.

So the last movie I’ve watched was Breathless.  It was interesting that the day I watch Breathless, I see a girl named Jet perform with her improv troupe The Reckoning for Out of Bounds comedy week.  She was beautiful in the same way as Jean Seberg is, with a treasure-able face and the personality of a strong, independent woman.  I was just as entranced with her as I was Seberg.

It was a good day spent with people I adore beyond all reason (seriously).  And I learned more about my own aspirations.  The most obvious one being that I wanted to be as strong and independent as the women I’d admired that day.  And more than anything, I wanted to be funny.  Speaking with someone at the Coldtowne theater that night, they observed that in truth, to be funny, one must give up on appearing “cool.”  

Am I holding on to appearing “cool?”  I think I might be.  I don’t know how to be confidently self-depreciating because that would mean I’d have to let go of any idea that I’m this poised, refined woman.  But definitely, over the years, I’ve learned that I’m not that.  Maybe now I just have to learn that I don’t have to become that either.

La Jetee.  1963.  A movie to make your heart stop, formed with isolated images and a narrative.

I hope my life amounts to this much love.

This is the song that plays on the main menu of Paprika, an anime movie I recently watched.  This particular song, for some reason, seems to represent my personal march through the last few weeks.

Let me give you some background.  This anime movie is about this monstrous dream invading reality.  This song plays when the mindless, soulless creations of the villian’s subconscious march through the city.  It’s very different that what we generally consider a march.  Typically, we “march to the beat of our own drum,” which is supposed to be a liberating, self-fulling experience.  But in this case, the march is against the will of these creations.

I feel like someone else is marching me through my days recently.  Am I living someone else’s dream?